Darn it, Mary

by lilly1240 I was so damn tired of seeing noodles. All day,everyday, all i did was make noodles. I would make the dough, roll it out, feed it though, catch the finished product. Still it beats working at the register like Mary does, god I hate Mary. She waits behind the counter silently fidgeting and players on a smile as fake as her laugh when someone says “I’ll have the usual”.

I arrived and went to my little corner of hell where the only solace to be found was in the dreadful, constant,  kneading and rolling and feeding and catching. There was a thump at the door followed by a cheery little bell. Mary, God I hate Mary, straightened her apron and doubled the plaster and piped “HoW MaY I HeLp YoU ToDaY!? :D”. The only response was a loud wheeze and the sound of drips hitting the floor. Mary appeared highly concerned, not they she deserves any, at the customer’s loud wheezing. I remembered the time I had come in sick causing her to wear a mask all day and maintain a ten foot radius from my diseased person. She stepped back from the counter and signaled for me to take her place while proclaiming with forced cheer, “Wow Look At The Time I Better Take Those Noodles Out!”. I glared at her back as she secured away to wash her hands. The customer was… strange to say the least but why should i care? They proceed to wheeze heavily and speak as if they had too many windpipes, “Noo..Dles”“What ever you say champ.”. I slid him a bowl of our worst noodles and didn’t comment on the slow puddle of back ooze forming below him.

After our happy customer lurched to the nearest table, Mary returned with a can of Lysol and began coating most everything with it paying no mind to the potential safety hazard. I resumed my rhythmic descent into madness only to catch the oozing patron’s eye. He hunched over his bowl yet his head seemed detached as if his neck didn’t quite sit right. Maintained steady eye contact he proceeded to assert dominance by removing the majority of the noddles and consuming them with minimum movement. The last noddle proceeded to be sucked into his mouth with such speed and velocity that it met his forehead at full force leaving a wet trail down their face. I observed as they approached with their every steady gaze and placed the vacant bowl on the bench before me. He grabbed me by the neck and watched as my blood meet his sludge dripping fingers before emptying into the bowl. All i though as my neck was slowly deconstructed was, this Mary, this is why I hate you.

02/14/19